Why Teens Lie to Parents - 4 Reasons Parents Encourage Lying and How to Curb Lying

Non Profit Bylaws Template California - Why Teens Lie to Parents - 4 Reasons Parents Encourage Lying and How to Curb Lying

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According to investigate conducted at the Josephson build of Ethics in California, 92 percent of teens surveyed admitted to lying to their parents at least once in the last year... And as the joke goes, "the other 8 percent lied about lying to their parents". It is pretty simple- teens just don't want to suffer the consequences of telling the truth. What's the harm in a "little white lie"? A lot is at stake when it comes to our teenagers.

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Non Profit Bylaws Template California

We can't expect the teenager to tell us all all the time, however, it is highly important that we generate a safe environment that encourages conversation and the chance to teach our juvenile child how to make good decisions. Ironically, an juvenile often doesn't realize it's wrong to break an deal with their parent; they do so in an effort to prove their autonomy or to connect with peers, sometimes, roughly unconsciously, because they knew you had a rule against it.

It's fine that they are searching for their independence and defining their own identities, but at the same time, our children want guiding law to help them in their crusade for independence.

Our teens need their parent's advice on how to make sound choices while spreading their wings.

Here's What We As Parents Can Do To Help preclude Our Teens From Lying to Us -

Starting Early -

Parents can model clear behaviors by being particular with their children when they are young and telling them you expect the same honesty in return. If they catch you in a fib, they elucidate that it is okay to play the same game, but, over time, they up the ante, especially as young adolescents.

Our children are never too young to understand the plan of being honest. Unfortunately, our society adheres to the doctrine that, at times, it is truly more favorable to lie.

We rationalize that it saves the recipient from unnecessary pain or embarrassment or that it simplifies uncomfortable circumstances by minimizing the process of explaining one's point of view.

What's wrong with telling the truth?

It is the projection of how the other person is going to receive the information.

Isn't that in effect the case with dishonesty?

Are we not more involved with the receipt of the facts than the delivery? That is exactly the root of qoute with our teens sharing the truth. They are hesitant because they don't want to deal with the reaction to the truth. Teens, like adults, lie for a whole of reasons in an effort to avoid confrontation or evade a consequence imposed by their parents.

Let's recognize four of the reasons we, as parents, encourage our kids to lie to us.

1: We Freak Out

No wonder the teen has chosen to go silent when their touch of telling the truth results in us launching off into ranting and raving about the ignorance and carelessness of their actions.

The knee-jerk reaction is to levy consequences or, at the very least, point out how they have made a gross error in judgment. Now, honestly, how excited would you be if every time you shared a new adventure with someone, they scoffed at you? There is a direct correlation in the middle of a definite parent or an overly opinionated parent and the degree of dishonesty they will receive from their budding teen.

I believe the overly definite parent, in a genuine effort to curb their teen's risk of production bad decisions, only fuel the fire. At this age, it is the job, the duty, of the teen to push their limits. They want to challenge their boundaries at every opportunity. It is the parent's role to build clearly defined boundaries, based on rational guidelines, and then keep the child to make good decisions within the framework of those boundaries.

If you are going to error, I advocate in the direction of listening to your teen about their interest in drinking, for example, and recognize the risks and consequences of their decision, rather than encouraging them to be dishonest and put them in greater harms way by forcing them to make decisions from fewer choices available to them that may lead to deception and compromise their health, their safety, and their well being.

For years, I've coached parents any ways to stop, listen, reflect, and demand without sounding authoritative and furnish an environment that encourages dialogue and proprietary of the decision production process.

Remember when we used to say to our young children, "It's very cold outside. Do you think you need a jacket?" The choice was theirs. It is the same principle but, either we like it or not, now it comes with higher stakes.

The toughest part for most parents is to listen to their teens, respect their point of view, recognize a rational thinking process, and then let them conclude for themselves.

2: convention what you Preach -

If you drink without regard to acceptable limits or moderation, then they will believe the same holds for them. If you demonstrate to them that lying to the door to door salesman is easier or stretching the truth with your friends to ease your own ache is okay, they will do the same.

Whether we like it or not, our children are a reflection of who we are. Setting a good example is significant to establishing cheap boundaries for your teens. If you demonstrate wee regard for the rules you build for your teens, they will place wee value on them, too. Plainly calling the trump card is not enough; teens, by and large, won't honor a rule based entirely on the fact that you are their parent and that is the way it is. You will get added if you convention what you preach.

3: Adult Responsibilities come with the Privileges, too -

A teen once told me that his parents expect him to carry his own weight by keeping down any jobs. They have taught him to be quite responsible; however, they treat him like a child with curfews and ground rules unfitting a responsible young adult.

Let your teen prove them self.

Take baby steps if significant but match the level of accountability you wish of them with the level of free time you grant them to make rational decisions. Wouldn't you rather be complicated in the decision production process now when you are available to coach them rather than having them learn it on their own when they go off to college? As they learn from both good and bad experiences by keeping down a job, let them have the same experiences with production decisions in their personal life. That's the challenge facing most parents of teens but is well worth it in the end.

The center for productive Parenting recommends that parents, "discuss why telling the truth is important... Telling the truth lets other habitancy know that they can be trusted."

4: Rules that are Embraced by Teens are significant -

I don't think there is a human being alive that gets excited about a restriction that is imposed upon them without having an chance for their input.

Developing a process where the teen has an chance to take proprietary in the house agreements will supervene in greater adherence than those that are imposed arbitrarily. Granted, there may be rules that the teen may not agree with initially but it is significant that parent's take the time to rationalize the plan process behind the ground rule. This may wish a willingness on both sides to start with a ground rule and be open to renegotiating down the road.

Consideration should be given to the demonstration of the teen's adherence to the ground rule in a responsible way. Should a new ground rule meet with resistance, begin with a starting point, define a pattern of behavior that would demonstrate responsibility, and build a timeline for renegotiation where both parties can embrace the ground rule.

Freedom is most when the boundaries are drawn.

When I coach parents and teens, I like to promote clearly defining boundaries, establishing agreements that are embraced by both parent and child, and creating a safe environment where honesty and mutual respect is honored.

Parenting teenagers is not an easy task. So, now we know why teens lie to parents, what are you going to do to help you and your teen life a happier... More fulfilled... (and more honest) life? If you are parenting a teenager, today is the time to take operation to start setting your teen on the path to success and honesty.

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